Memoirs of a nun

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2009-05-20 23:52:10

Last author: sequeena_rae
Owner: sequeena_rae

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^{Brought to you by [sequeena_rae] and Sister Lisa; [starry_bellend]}

^{There is a moral to every story...Except this one.

Mwahahaha.}

^{This wiki is for Sister Lisa. She has decided to become a nun. Yes, a nun.}

^{Sister Lisa's journey in pictures. Additional words by [sequeena_rae]}

^{Past memoirs are kept here: Memoirs.}

^{New! Memoirs talks!}

^{Memoirs of a nun in words by [starry_bellend]}

^{Entry nine - The mods versus count Dracula!}

^{After enjoying a steak and ale pie in the greyhound, I made my way in the dead of night towards a run down old building in the middle of Transylvania (I am forced to reside here these days after being removed from every other fucking country on the face of the planet!). I was then joined by my good friend Sarah.

Before entering the building I took out the holy blood of Christ and blessed the building by downing the bottle. We then proceeded inside and were greeted by one hell of a fucking shit hole. We thought fuck it God will keep us safe and so we got down to it (sleeping that is).

We had been asleep but 10 minutes when I was roused by a strange voice, which I thought in my drowsy state was calling "I vant to suck your breast" but I was later informed by my companion that it was actually my blood that he wanted. We stood up and stared at the creature. "Right! I've had enough of this fucking shit! Piss off out now before we're forced to beat you down!" With that Sarah was wrestled to the floor by the being and a syringe was stuck in her neck. I was in shock as he drew blood from my friend. He then squirted some into his mouth and the remainder was squirted into the face of an old woman who happened to be passing through the building. He than made his way towards me and I gave him my best "I cant believe you've just egged me" eyes. I could do nothing but use my holy powers to pray to god. I fell to my knees and began chanting "Neef neef neef neef". I was then joined in my chant by Sarah from the floor. We finally realised that this wasn't going to work and I resigned myself to my fate. He lifted up the syringe to my neck when suddenly he bent over and squealed.

It was only then that I realised that Sarah had stuck a light bulb in his japs eye, and that he was now paralysed. Before running for our lives we stood for a minute and laughed until we shat ourselves.

We then ran, to where who knows but I'll tell you one thing, the fucking wind blew off my habit, and I had to make a prick of myself chasing after it down the street. We then decided that we would travel to Paris to see if the virgin Mary really has bleeding eyes, and also to see ZA BOYZ in concert on the 15th.}

^{To be continued...}

^{This wiki is a piss take.

In other words, you get offended, it's bloody tough.}

^{Back to;

[starry_bellend]

[sequeena_rae]

We are the mods!}

2006-12-19 [sequeena_rae]: Or rather, a car with a man dressed in womens clothing driving it LMAO!

2006-12-19 [starry_bellend]: Omg that was class lamo!

2006-12-19 [sequeena_rae]: *puts it in the memoirs* Julie Walters is a legend!

2006-12-21 [starry_bellend]: Sister Lisa blesses the congrigation of the church of the unholy. MERRY CHRISTMAS YALL!!!

2006-12-21 [starry_bellend]: Lmao

2006-12-21 [sequeena_rae]: ...*feels blessed* LMAO!

We really need to get our arses into gear with again. What do you say we start in the new year? :P

2006-12-21 [starry_bellend]: Oh yeah definately, I felt like writing one earlier lol. Ive been in the mood lately. Maybe i'll do a christmas version later ;)

2006-12-21 [sequeena_rae]: :o I would love you forever if you did xD

2007-01-05 [starry_bellend]: Om voila!

2007-01-05 [sequeena_rae]: *^___________^* Finally! :D

2007-01-26 [Doormat]: Your escapades are spectacular.

2007-01-26 [The Blood Angel]: Hell yeah! and they are both mine!

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: Thank you :P

2007-01-26 [The Blood Angel]: finally your home <img:44166_1164145171.gif>

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: Lmao!! Yes you evil bean!

2007-01-26 [The Blood Angel]: Bwahahaha!

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: Ah merci [Doormat] :D

STFU boobies man xP

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: Ini! You're just asking for a jipping!

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: Or japping lmaoooo!

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: Omg yeah!! You'll take a fucking japping! Right up the arse!

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: Lmfao! XD

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: I will not take shit from you Boobies man!!

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: All right Lis, calm the fuck down lmao

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! But om ready to give him a japping!!

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: Put the jap away for fuck sake! O go sail in Bernadine xD

2007-01-26 [Estantia]: yeah, no human deserves to be used as a battering implement without provocation... from the implement.

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: I was fucking provoked though lmao!

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: ...Well they do deserve to be used as a battering implement.

Just not when Lisa hasn't had her medication.

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: Lmao!! :P

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: You know it's true lmao

2007-01-26 [Estantia]: that implies she is crazier when medication is applied..

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: Im denying nout lmao!

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: Why yes [Estantia], I believe it does XP

2007-01-26 [Estantia]: oh deary deary me... what is the NHS coming to..

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: *cough*black market*cough*

2007-01-26 [Estantia]: ah right *cough*

2007-01-26 [The Blood Angel]: thats one hell of a cough going around. <img:44166_1164218141.gif>

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: *coughs on* :)

2007-01-26 [Estantia]: *actual cough*

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: What the fuck is this!!

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: We're coughing :D *cough*

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: Om should get covonia!!

2007-01-26 [The Blood Angel]: COVONIA!

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: Cough medicine with clout >.>

I think this means I watch too much tv XP

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: What about Dulcoease? What that for then? Anyone?? *pisses*

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: *gives potty*

No idea, but how about Mr Sheen lmaoooo!

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: LMFAO! Mr sheen lives longer with calgon! Om mixture of two wrong adverts lmao! My bad! :(

2007-01-26 [sequeena_rae]: LMFAO! Om stupid to mix them up!

2007-01-26 [starry_bellend]: Om not even similar adverts lmao!

2007-01-27 [sequeena_rae]: Exactly you bloody fool! XD

2007-01-27 [The Blood Angel]: Whats with all the Oming?

2007-01-27 [Estantia]: they're the mods...

2007-01-27 [starry_bellend]: Yes! We are legends and collectively (all 2 of us) will rule the world!

2007-01-27 [Estantia]: hey you can take over the world with two..

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Yeah, it was done by Pinky and the brain, why not us two??

2007-01-28 [The Blood Angel]: Because they are smart? <img:ws23.gif>

2007-01-28 [Estantia]: I was thinking about Art and Guin actually, they robbed the world blind in poker and bought it..

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Because, we are the next hitlers butt so watch it!! Anymore of this shit and when the apocalypse comes you are going down!!

2007-01-28 [Estantia]: me or him? seeing as I've been supporting you...

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Him!!

2007-01-28 [Estantia]: Good... because you wouldn't want me to be your enemy now... would you... *evil plotting voice*

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Quite frankly [Estantia], I'd love to see what you would do to try and take the mods down :P

Because you will NEVER (Yes Lisa, NEVAAAAAAA! Hehehe xD) take the mods down. You'll lose your bean.

2007-01-28 [Estantia]: *smiles* that's only if you try and go against me... (btw, I'd just get out the embarrassing photos and knock you all senseless while you were staring)

pity I have to keep the balance :P

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: You don't have any embarrassing photos. You make no sense *stab*

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: That would never work! The mods are not fooled! We would see through you and rip off your clothes leaving you to die with embarrasment while we ridiculed your body! :P

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Put her in the line up lmaoooo xD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: ;)

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: *punch* Winking at me! XD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om punhcing again!! Om yet more evidence of you wanting to have a physical relationship with me!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: *GB style* You are such a div lmao!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om funny to be a div!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Om knowing you fool!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om announcing to world that we saw the beheading of Ken Bigely in panto :P

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Om walking off plank "Om nothing like the beheading of Ken Bigley" LMAO! I can't believe you actually came out with that xD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om embarrassing to say that in public lmfao!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Well you said it lmao XD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Well om Edda's thats why!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Om can't argue with that lmao!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! Legend! *fist*

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: *fist* We are mad lmao

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Yes *licks wall*

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: ...

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! Om caged beast! Om could eat a chinese now :(

2007-01-28 [Estantia]: there's the photos on et that would make you cry with laughter though :P not forgetting the torture instruments out the back :P

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: I second eating a chinese :(

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Lmaoo!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Tell you what, let's eat [Estantia] :P

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om orite then *eats for a fortnight* mmmm! nice estantia :P

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: *munches and crunches* I'm happy now xD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: *smirks*

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: *stare* You? Smirk?

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Lmfao! Like a cheshire cat!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: No Lis, the cheshire cat was grinning xD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Ummm *Looks around* :)

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: ...*points and laughs* DUNCE!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om shut up!! Om will jap you!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Om bring it on! Om will rip your bean!

2007-01-28 [Estantia]: hope you do a better job of it then eating me..

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! Om rip my bean!!! And you thought IIII was offering YOU sex lmfao!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Om not offering sex though! Om will literally RIP it off xD lmaoooo!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: But how will you do this?

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: My using my ninja skillz obviously *GB hands*

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om this is sick! Om thinking of ways to detach my bean ffs!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: You said you would jap me so om STFU before I sodomise you with Bernadine's very own prize carrot!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Omg!! *hangs head in shame*

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Yeah! Ave it! *spanks* lmfaoooo!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om devastating blow given by my brother just now!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Let me guess, there's no kebabs xD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om no! The dog has a car!!! But om banger that makes a strange noise so we're ok! We can still mow her

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: ... *has seizure* WHAT?!

That's it. We are mass descending on her house and we are removing her wheels lmao!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om leaving her car like tortoise from mock the week!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao! Om will put her on mock the week so they can ridicule her! XD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Lmaoo! Om worlds ugliest mutt! Lmao! Om put her doooowwn! Thats where we step in!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Om like this Lis! *ninja style/peter pan/dr evil* lmaooo!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Lmaoo!! Om octopussy!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Omg! XD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om embarrased that i said that now!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: So you should be, you filthy slut xP

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om why the fuck I said that i will never know!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: *see above comment* lmao

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Oh lmao!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: So you admit it lmao!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om admit it! :(

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: YES! :D

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om shut it you!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: NEVA!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Om* beats to fuck with chair leg*

2007-01-28 [The Blood Angel]: Neva! <img:44166_1164144932.gif>

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: *retaliates with a chicken ball*

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: *beats boobies man too* *stabs Sarah and eats chicken balls*

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: *farts in face* T.T

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: O M F G!!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: You asked for it!

2007-01-28 [The Blood Angel]: oh god that was so funny I could have wet myself!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: xD

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: You should get out more!! This is our daily routine lmao!

2007-01-28 [The Blood Angel]: True, but I'm ill at the moment.

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: That's no excuse!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: There's always time for mod antics lmao! Whatever the weather! < om sounding like powergen ad!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Shut up you mong xD

2007-01-28 [The Blood Angel]: maybe not all the time. <img:44166_1164145221.gif> funerals maybe? <img:ws23.gif>

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Yup funerals too!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Definitely during funerals. Even when discussing people with brain tumours :P

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: No occasion too sombre for the mods!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: The only time we get sad is when there's no food left

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: That sounds about right!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Because we r the mods!

It's ze W!

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: *does hands*

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Yeah babeh :3

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: We scared him off anyway lmao!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Bugger :(

2007-01-28 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! OUR BAD!

2007-01-28 [sequeena_rae]: Definitely our bad lmaoooo xD

2007-01-28 [The Blood Angel]: *Stabs both* hell no. Jsut got better things to do... BURN!! <img:stuff/hall_gif.gif>

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Are you trying to say we're not worth the effort boobies man!! Lol

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: Kiss it Boobies man.

2007-01-29 [The Blood Angel]: He He maybe. <img:44166_1164903254.gif>

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: *rips tongue out* ¬_¬

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Was that a sexual advance boobies man!!! *taps foot*

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: I think so *sob*

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: *beasts* How dare you lmao! You never came through me!! I am the pimp in the relationship!!

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: *stare*

I'm going on strike damnit! I'm as sore as a fucking chaffed monkey! You evil, overworking BITCH!

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Overworked!! You are treated well!

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: You insinuated that I should bum Bernadine! I will never do that!!!

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Om will do as I say!! When your using your cunning to pimp people you can have some say in the matter lmao!

2007-01-29 [The Blood Angel]: *Ponders* The Mods, whores of ET <img:44166_1164145221.gif>

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! :P Sounds about right !

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: Om don't need to use my cunning! Om up yours pimp!

And you can do one ¬_¬ Call my bitch a whore and I'll have to beast you

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Lmfaoo!! BEAST HIM BEAST HIM!!

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: What is this? Some kind of sumo chant lmaoooo

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Yes om the all blacks lmao!

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: Lmfao!

THERE'S ONLY ONE BERNADINE!

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Lmao *does the all blacks dance*

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: Our primary school done that lmaoooo

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Om bleak times lmdaoo!!!

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: "In the bleak mid wiiiinter" Elena Rees sang that LMAO!

2007-01-29 [starry_bellend]: Omfg!!! Im glad i werent there lmao

2007-01-29 [sequeena_rae]: It hurt my ears lmao!

2007-01-30 [starry_bellend]: Lmao i can imagine! Donald duck giving a tune!

2007-01-30 [sequeena_rae]: Lmfaoooo! XD

2007-01-30 [starry_bellend]: Literally om mouth of a fucking platupus!!

2007-01-30 [sequeena_rae]: Om for fuck sake! xD

2007-01-30 [starry_bellend]: Lmao!! Om true though! I hate Elenor om slag and om never a mod!!

2007-01-30 [sequeena_rae]: Om too much of a bimbo :P

2007-09-03 [starry_bellend]: this is funny as shit lmao! Ill have to write a newby

2007-09-04 [sequeena_rae]: Please do mod <3 XD

2007-09-04 [starry_bellend]: Its legend ini :P

2007-09-05 [sequeena_rae]: It's the best aye x)

2007-12-05 [Chetleon]: Ahhh tis' sweet...

2007-12-06 [sequeena_rae]: :D

2010-08-19 [starry_bellend]: Om a level results were out today! Reminds me of times like the above :)

2010-08-19 [sequeena_rae]: Awww!! I miss those days aye!!

2010-08-19 [starry_bellend]: me too aye! carefree :P

2010-08-19 [sequeena_rae]: Ah yes, didn't worry about anything apart from when bernie was going to wear her tigerlilay shirt!!

fuck wish I was 17 again now LOL

2010-08-21 [starry_bellend]: Aw the tigerlillay! hahahah me too ;(

2011-01-05 [Nioniel]: Like this, EPIC. :D

2011-01-05 [sequeena_rae]: BAHAHAHA!! Good times.

2011-01-09 [starry_bellend]: Very goood times :) where did they gooo :( xx

2011-01-09 [sequeena_rae]: we grew up :(

2011-04-13 [Panda-monium]: Growing up sucks.

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